Oct 15, 2019

Zion Williamson Caught Starting the “Penis Game” At Pelicans Practice

The New Orleans Pelicans’ front office is concerned with Zion Williamson’s leadership ability after it was reported that he started the “Penis Game” with teammates at their Monday morning practice. 

For context, the “Penis Game” occurs when one or more friends take turns yelling 'penis' as loud as they possibly can, typically starting from a whisper and progressing to a full-on scream, with the first person to chicken out deemed the loser. 

Zion’s teammates were reportedly all smiles during the occurrence, but after some interviews with the team, it seems they’re genuinely worried about this year’s #1 pick and his childish ways. Veteran guard Jrue Holiday was the first to sound off on the subject.

“Zion is brilliant, but he still acts like a senior in high school. This is the big leagues, and you have to act like a champion. I only played that game to please Coach Gentry.”
Via Cassy Athena/Getty

Coach Alvin Gentry appears to be the only Pelican unfazed by Williamson. Some players even seem to think Gentry is condoning Zion’s behavior in order to please the Duke prodigy, who is often hailed as the next ‘Lebron James.’

“I know he can be a bit immature at times, but Zion is a once-in-a-lifetime type of player,” Gentry said. “If he wants to play Peek-A-Boo, Spin the Bottle, or Hungry Hungry Hippos, then let’s feed the beast. I want to give him every opportunity to succeed.” 

Rookie center Jaxson Hayes chimed in, “There’s this notebook that he calls his ‘diary.’ I see him drawing big, veiny dicks in it everyday after practice. I can’t be the only one who has noticed it, right?” 

“Yeah, I seen the dicks,” said Lavar Ball, sporting a Big Baller Brand flat bill. “As far as I’m concerned, he can do whatever he wants. Just as long as my boy gets to start.” 

We’re not sure how Lavar got into the locker room in the first place. According to his son Lonzo, someone keeps “letting him in.”

The Pelicans PR team declined to let Williamson comment on the matter for fear of what he may say.

Apparently, he kept saying things like “your mom!” and “that’s what she said!” during attempts to prep him for questioning. 

Zion and the Pelicans will square off against the Toronto Raptors in their season opener Tuesday, October 22 at 7:30PM Central on TNT. The world is ready to see Zion in action.


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Thumbnail Image Via: Derick E. Hingle - USA Today Sports
Main Image Via: Si.com