Jun 11, 2020

Philadelphia Eagles Believe They've Found “Future Hall of Famer” in 2 Month Old Prospect

By: Ryan Lodge

The 2020 NFL Draft is over, but the Philadelphia Eagles are far from being done with picking their future stars. Raymond Duffy, head scout for the Philadelphia Eagles, believes he struck gold in Jacob Wilson, a 2-month-old Pennsylvania native.

“Of course we want to win another Super Bowl, but our MAIN main goal is to build a dynasty,” said Duffy.

In April, Jacob moved on from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia to the greater Lehigh Valley area to spend more time with his brother and parents.

“Jacob is a homebody. He is very clingy to his mother, and can’t even eat a full meal without her around,” says Patrick Wilson, Jacob’s father.

"He has everything we look for in a 5-star prospect. He moves better than any other infant we've seen and has laser-sharp focus. We're able to keep him focused on football because he still thinks girls are gross and have cooties,” said Duffy

Coach Duffy thinks that Jacob would fit perfectly into the Eagles system. 2 weeks ago, Jacob was recorded crying at 150 decibels. “That’s the type of voice we need leading the team. He can easily call audibles over the crowds in Seattle and give that city one more reason to be depressed.”

Even though Jacob is touted as a blue-chip prospect, he does have his weaknesses. The Eagles coaching staff noticed that when Jacob is placed under pressure, he pukes on himself. Because he is considered very injury prone, Jacob is a target for blitzing defenses. 

Coach Doug Pederson is looking forward to the future, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t excited for the 2042 season.” Pederson is looking at offering Jacob a 25-year, $115 million dollar guaranteed contract. While most see this contract as fitting, Dallas Cowboy’s quarterback, Dak Prescott did not.

“He’s a baby! Is anyone else thrown off by this?! This is bull****!”

Prescott’s mother ended the phone interview because Dak had broken the ‘no cussing in the house’ rule.