For 39 years, The Make-A-Wish Foundation has granted life-changing wishes for those in need. However, their streak of 34,000 wishes granted was abruptly snapped when the beloved non-profit organization denied the St. Louis Cardinals dying wish for run support.
The wish was made by Cardinals Manager Mike Schildt shortly after the Cardinals dropped Game 3 of the NLCS to the Washington Nationals. At press time, the flustered manager was quick to emphasize the teams desperate need for a miracle.
“We're down three games to none and we’ve been outscored 13-2 thus far. Now, I’m a religious man, but clearly God ain’t doin’ the trick. We had to call in the big guns.”
Unfortunately, the Cardinals cries for help fell on deaf ears when Make-A-Wish CEO, David Williams immediately withdrew Schildt’s request from consideration. Williams took to the podium to shed some light on his shocking decision.
“Let me be clear, we take pride in being able to grant the wishes of anyone in need… However, there is simply nothing we can do. Frankly, these guys suck, and it’s not our fault that their bats are made of swiss cheese.”
Despite being rejected, Schildt wasn't going down without a fight. Sources say, he reached out to John Cena, in hopes that the famed wish granter would bend the rules in the name of baseball. He didn't. The Cards were mercilessly swept in the best of seven series.