After a Game 5 meltdown in the National League Division Series, Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Clayton Kershaw was recently spotted at a Los Angeles area Sit n Sleep shopping for mattresses. Eyewitnesses say the Dodger's lefty was also carrying a package of Tampax under his arm.
The pitcher, is a frequenter of the mattress store, as evidenced by the store representative’s greeting:
“Shit the bed again, eh?” the clerk said with sympathy.
“Yup, only in October.”
“Well. Ok. I’ll ring you up over at the register. Can I help you with anything else?“
“Yeah. Do you have any mattress protectors? I’ll take the best one you got.”
Kershaw walked out of the store with a full discount and complementary set of sheet cleaner for the next time he has an unexpected accident. The three time Cy Young award winner hasn't been seen since. Sources believe he and his family are staying in the deep mountains of Alaska, looking to stay out of the public eye until he's ready to face the world again.