Nov 5, 2019

China's President Xi Jinping To Star In Space Jam 2

With tensions continuing to rise between the NBA and China, LeBron James is stepping up to try and make amends. In his continued pursuit of his goal, copying Michael Jordan’s every move, James is producing and starring in Space Jam 2. Reports are now circulating that the film has cast President of the People’s Republic of China Xi Jingping as the player who comes off the bench to help them win the game, a role originally played by Dan Akroyd. Sources even seem to believe there may be some stellar cameos.

The uproar among Asian fans left NBA president Adam Silver at a loss in recent weeks, and this appears to be an attempt by the league’s biggest star to gain a foothold in China, where he’s still known as “that guy the Warriors keep bullying.” Reports are that Xi agreed to the role only if he can be the one who stretches out his arm for the game winning basket, a request James was forced to grant if he wants that sweet sweet Chinese cash.

Sources close to the production revealed that in the movie, the Goon Squad will be led by LeBron James and the beloved Chinese cartoon bunny, Tuzki. In the movie, the Goon Squad will battle it out against a group of protestors from “Kong Hong”, whose coach has been cast as Rockets GM Daryl Morey. Unlike the original plot, where the Toon Squad defeated the Monstars to save the Looney Tunes universe, this game will determine whether or not China remains a communist country. 

We reached out to Bugs Bunny, and asked him about being replaced in the movie by Tuzki.

“Replaced? I wasn’t replaced. You think that little Hello Kitty lookin’ bitch can replace me? I’m fucking Bugs. Where you been? So to answer your question, No. I turned down the role as soon as I heard rumblings about a sequel. I played with Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player of all time. Why would I join a bum with only 2 and a half rings?”

When asked about the rumors, James stated, “This summer, this is very tough, this summer I’m going to take my talents to Shanghai and join the People’s Republic of China. For the summer at least”


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