Oct 13, 2019

Baker Mayfield Downgraded From ‘Dangerous’ To ‘Mild Inconvenience’

In a stunning turn of events, elite members of the Cleveland Browns “Dawg Pound” made the executive decision to euthanize Baker Mayfield’s title of “Dangerous” and immediately downgraded him to a "mild inconvenience" following his three interception performance Sunday against the Seahawks. 

No players were available to directly answer the media’s burning questions on the subject, but Head Coach Freddy Kitchens did issue a statement on the matter. 

“Hiking Mount Everest is dangerous… Eating at Golden Corral seven days a week is dangerous… Throwing three picks with one at the most crucial moment of the game? That’s just another day at the office for Baker.” 

Though he’s disappointed, Kitchens supports the decision to strip Mayfield of his once menacing title. 

Mayfield declined to comment, but members of the Cleveland Browns staff say that he fell to the floor and screamed in agony when he discovered hundreds of his “Dangerous” T-shirts hanging in the clearance section of the stadium gift shop.


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Thumbnail Image Via: CBS Sports
Main Image Via: Newsweek